Story of a girl

Hating myself, feeling depressed, wishing i could crawl under a rock, then get smushed by that rock, Wishing i could just be invisible so i wouldn't have to deal with all of this. Crying, Crying, more crying. wishing it never happened, wishing it never started in the first place.

Hangin with friends doing what we do,
Everything's great but of course it's to good to be true.
Days go by trying to stay away from home,
With all the fighting and yelling I'd rather just roam.
around the city, around the town,
anything to keep me from feeling down.
The life of a teenager is about having fun,
taking risks and hangin in the sun.
I'm not perfect I make mistakes,
Now i feel like the person everyone hates.
Living up to expectations i cant meet,
Has me broken down, burned, and beat.
You tell me what you do, and what you've done,
and it makes me think oh whats the harm if they had fun.
I'm not perfect i don't know what to say,
I just wish i could have a second chance and it would all go away.



I don't know what to do, i don't know what to say, I don't know what to think, i don't know how to feel, i do know that I feel depressed and the more i think about it the more depressed i feel. I don't feel like talking to anyone, i don't feel like looking anyone in the face, I wish i could just go away for awhile and when i came back it would be like nothing ever happened. I don't even feel like I'm wanted in my own home. i feel hated, i feel like dirt, i feel like crap, i feel like i have no right to be happy, i probably don't have any right to be happy. I cant stop myself from crying but i have to cuz dad cant know. I have to enjoy tomorrow like its the last day i have on this planet because who knows how long it will be before i can go outside, or see my boyfriend again. I just really really really want to crawl under that rock.

Went to Downtown Royal Oak today with Greg, Dad, Karen(dads Gf), and Karens son Mike. We went out to eat at a place called Pronto, it was nice. I guess I'm going to the Hazel Park Fire Works tonight, or something like that. I know i should be more happy but like i said before, Depressed.

Hanging with Greg tomorrow. Not only is it Fourth of July, but it's also mine and his One Month! Hopefully tomorrow will be good, that kid means so much to me, and I'm sure it's not going to make my being depressed any better when I'm grounded. I already know I'll be a wreck.
I love that boy sooo much.


How i feel: